Saturday, April 11, 2009
Monster in the Bathroom
We were asleep. It was a dark and stormy night... no really, it was. Both of the cats were on the bed, but to be fair, Tungsten was actually sleeping on top of Matt and me while Leela was at the foot of the bed. I was startled awake by what sounded like a hand saw coming from the bathroom. After I muted the flickering TV, I nudged Matt awake and asked if he heard what I heard. Unsurprisingly, he groaned as he woke up to listen. The noise was getting louder and louder. So I shoved the blankets off and told Matt that I would go check it out... he said, "okay."
The noise did not abate once I opened the bathroom door and turned the lights on. If anything, it became more distinctive -- it sounded more like teeth gnawing and tiny feet scratching for traction and less like a hand saw. At that moment, Matt leaped from the bed, knowing that I was truly not crazy after hearing it for himself. Shoving Tungsten out of his way, Matt crouched by the cabinet doors and pounded vigorously trying to scare the creature back from whence it came. He slowly opened the doors only to find everything under the sink trashed! All of the bar soap that had been neatly stacked was ripped out of the paper wrapping; scratch marks clearly visible. Everything that had been neatly stacked or placed inside to maximize space had been toppled-- or pooped on. This was not the first time this creature had entered through the holes under sink by which the pipes also enter. It was chaos... but the monster was gone.
At this point, I was holding Tungsten at bay, Leela was interested in what was going on, but refused to move from her spot on the bed, and Matt was bound and determined to get something at 12AM to fix the holes. So he threw on some clothes, grabbed his wallet and phone, and headed out to the ugly Kroger up the street for some Great Stuff foam insulator. Kroger didn't have any, so he left and made his way to Walmart-- but that particular Walmart closed at midnight. His journey continued. Meanwhile, Tungsten was pacing back and forth from the cabinet doors, to the guest bath cabinet doors, to the corners of our bedroom where he could hear the thing move through the walls.
Finally Matt came home with two bottles of the "Stuff," and I only had to call him once shrieking, "Where are you?!! It's back, it's back!!" My knight sealed up the holes both in our bathroom and in the cabinets in the spare bathroom that the monster had been jumping back and forth between. His advice, "Everything's sealed up. He can't get back in-- he might try, but he can't get in-- sleep tight."
I did actually sleep better knowing that he couldn't get in-- of course, any sleep is better than no sleep. I'm so grateful to Matt for scouring the city for a 24hr. Walmart at midnight just so I could sleep. That's love.
Posted by Anne Aurand at 3:16 PM